SWDITTBAAFP? Pt 4

What a difference a day can make.

***

I lay in bed last night, couldn't fall asleep. My heart was pounding, and I kept thinking about the check ride scheduled for this morning, not just running the sortie through my head again, and again, and again, but worrying what might become the first step toward the end of a dream. What if this is it?

Down the hall, a dream was already over. Failing his last ride early in the week, we hadn't seen much of him for days. Tomorrow he would be leaving, back to a life more ordinary. He tossed and turned, too, I'm sure. Was he pondering the next step, or just kept awake by the disappointment?

***

I stepped down from the cockpit with brows entrenched. It had started all so well; everything was going according to plan. How could I f*ck up those last landings? How could I forget to power off on descent? How could I (almost) overspeed my flaps trying to slip down and salvage what's left of my check ride? How could I be so stupid? The IP told me take 10. I went back to my room, bordering on self-loathing tears and cursing my incompetence. Surely I don't deserve to pilot hundreds of millions of dollars worth of aircraft. The steps back up to the flight room were heavy. I gave my inquisitive flightmates a foreboding look, stepped into the check IP's office, closed the door, and sat down in front of him.

He took a long and hard look at the flight suits he will wear no longer before packing them away with the rest of his belongings. This is it, he thought. Life will go on, and I will be fine. He locked the suite door for the last time, and headed toward the front lobby, beneath the sign "Gateway to USAF Aviation". As he said a quiet goodbye to the security guard and opened the double door, he heard his name. He stopped and turned around.

***

I came out of the perpetually sunlit office to face a small crowd of eager mates. I closed the door behind me and pumped my fists in silent triumph. Yes! All the weight and guilt and shame of the past four days fell far away behind me, and I was surrounded by handshakes and congratulations. Yet no words were as sweet as those two the check IP uttered at the end of the debriefing. Go solo.

I collapsed onto a chair amongst my flightmates. Then I realized that a familiar face has reappeared. He was studying, though I don't recall him being that studious before.
They gave me another chance! He said. Two more check rides to pass.
I'm so happy that you're back, I told him, slapping his shoulder.
Yeah, me too.

***

What a difference a day can make.


Not relevant:
I have 6 more flights before I get to go home to the wife, including the final check ride. After today, I'm feeling pretty good. See? You can make it happen if you just lose enough sleep over it.
Morale -> 90%