10.07.2005

7 Steps to dealing with a drunk in the Moscow metro

1. Stand away from your friends, that way you appear to be an outsider and not one of the intended targets.
2. Divert his attention away from them by approaching, interjecting and starting a conversation.
3. Invite him to sit next to you on the metro. Be friendly, agree with what he says. Play the Chinese/American ethnicity duality as necessary.
4. Gain his trust, and then probe him calmly and amicably for intel. Determine his threat level.
5. Get your friends off the metro and make sure he doesn't follow them by keeping the conversation going. Some gentle physical and verbal "guidance" may be helpful.
6. You're on your own, get out of the situation ASAP. Try to end on a good note with a goodbye and a handshake.
7. Hope that he doesn't follow you instead.

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